Stuffs #5

Be kind, for everyone you meet is carrying a heavy burden

There was a time suicide was a strange concept to me. I mean, why the heck someone would want not to live! Living is fun. Breathing is relaxing. Every time I came to know about people who have tried to commit suicide, there used to be this awkward feeling or precise to say the lack of it. It felt like someone willing to commit suicide does not actually deserve to live. Sometimes knowing some silly reasons behind suicide seemed like jokes. Those deads or the living deads were freaking jokes. There was no feeling sad, no feeling sympathy, no empathy.

But then you grow a little bit older and one not-so-fine day you realize, living is fun only ‘til it isn’t. And there comes time when breathing can feel like the hardest thing to do.

You see, I’ve known depression. I’ve spent a long time with it – months after months, if not years. There were days I didn’t feel like getting up from the bed at all. All I wanted was to sleep the whole day away. Every moment of wakefulness was mentally painful and physically exhausting. So yeah, I know a little something about how it can feel like.

I know that the person sitting right next to you can be smiling from ear to ear and yet be the most depressed person you might ever meet. Depression doesn’t always look the same from outside. Sometimes it can be blunt and obvious. But it can also be so subtle that you won’t even notice it. Your most cheery friend can be depressed inside without you ever knowing, until it’s too late. And we all know how drastic the end result can be.

Not everybody is made the same. Not everybody has the strength to stomach everything.

So whenever you can, please, try to help these people. Try to put yourself in their shoes for a moment, if you can, and maybe you would understand what they need. Often all they need is somebody to hear them. Try to give them that.

If you can’t do that, don’t just do what you think is best for them. More often than not, it only causes more damage. So, don’t lecture them on how they are being so silly. It may seem silly to you but it’s not to them, trust me. A depressed person is often in a very fragile state of mind. Even your seemingly innocent jokes can sometimes push them over the edge. Keep yourself from doing these, that’s the least you can do.

If you can’t comprehend at which point somebody loses the desire to live, I don’t blame you. It’s not a pleasant thing to understand. But know that, it’s not their fault. Then who’s fault is it? If you must know – the fault might as well be yours. You didn’t help them when they needed it, who are you to blame?

Somebody with their heart full of hopelessness gives up on life and you think they didn’t deserve life at all? I wonder if you are human at all. Whom do you pray to? Does he not tell you to be kind towards every human being? They were just human, just like you and me. Thank your God that you didn’t have to endure the pain that they did. Who knows what you would’ve done in their situation. You think you know? Well, you never actually do. So, don’t be a righteous piece of shit. Nobody needs that.

And all the depressed souls, if you ever feel like you can’t take it anymore – please talk to somebody before you decide something serious. Because, there’s always so much left for you to see, so many things waiting for you to experience.

Life is precious. Keep holding on to it, long as you can. And see what happens next. You might be surprised.

I know, it’s hard to talk about things to people. It’s not easy to find people you can trust. People always find a way to disappoint you. But there are still good people left on earth, all you need to do is find one or two of them. I’m sure you can find some within your friend circle. And if you don’t feel comfortable talking about your depression to people you know, there are other ways too.

There’s this group called Kaan Pete Roi — if you ever need someone to listen to you, you can call them. They won’t judge you, nor will they try to lecture you about shits and give you useless advices. They will just listen to you. And you don’t even have to say who you are.

Don’t just lose hope. Keep fighting, if not for yourself, for the ones who love you. It might not always seem obvious, but there are always people who care for you and love you.

You are not alone.

01:34:40 AM
Sep 21, 2017